Bonjour! Below is an article I
stumbled upon! Absolutely inspiring and a great reminder of what is important
in life and what you wish you would have done more of! I can honestly say the
article made me re think some of my priorities in life! It is so easy to get
caught up in your own little box striving for things that in the end are less
important than loving others, loving God, and keeping relationships the most
important!
For many years I
worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die.
Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three
to twelve weeks of their lives.People grow a lot when they are faced with their
own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth.
Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as
expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance.
Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one
of them.When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do
differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common
five:
1. I
wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others
expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people
realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy
to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even
a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they
had made, or not made.It is very important to try and honour at least some of your
dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too
late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.
2. I
wish I didn't work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed.
They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women
also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of
the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply
regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work
existence.By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the
way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by
creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities,
ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
3. I
wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to
keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and
never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses
relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.We cannot
control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react
when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the
relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the
unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.
4. I
wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realise the full
benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible
to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they
had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets
about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone
misses their friends when they are dying.It is common for anyone in a busy
lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching
death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their
financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that
holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for
the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to
ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the
end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.
5. I
wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not
realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old
patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into
their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them
pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep
within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life
again.When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way
from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before
you are dying.
Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose
wisely, choose honestly. Choose
happiness.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Based on this article,
Bronnie has now released a full length book titled The Top Five Regrets of
the Dying - A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing. It is a memoir of her
own life and how it was transformed through the regrets of the
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